We Grow Up Together
By Rich Wistocki – April 3, 2012
I am going to write something that will cause most of you parents to cringe and take offense. When I tell parents this in person, I can see the anger in their eyes and at the same time they want to report me to my Police Chief and have me reprimanded. But I really don’t care because the truth hurts sometimes. So here it goes “Parents … you are all RESPONSIBLE for your children.” There, I said it and I am sorry if I made you feel bad about yourselves but it is the absolute truth.
You as parents are not only responsible for your children in their physical life but their online life as well. It is sort of easy to make sure their homework is done, sports are played, and rooms are clean. That is their physical life. However, when you allow them a level of technology on their laptops and cell phone that goes without checks and balances, it is like giving your thirteen-year-old the keys to your car. You are just filling that car with gas, telling them to go wherever they want and never asking them where they went. Whether they go to California, Las Vegas, Canada or Russia you just don’t want to hear it unless there are problems.
Parents who tell themselves, “My kid would never do that” are just “hoping” their kid would never do that. When in all actuality, the common denominator when parents come to my police department to report something they have found online is “I never thought my kid would have done this.” Well, you never thought, because you never checked. “I never thought my kid would take naked pictures of herself and send it to her boyfriend. I never thought that my 12 year old would go on Skype and have an intimate relationship with a 25-year-old. I never thought my kid would hang around with other kids who do heroine and now he is an addict.” You see, when we “hope” our kids don’t do these things, those are odds I do not want to take. Parents must be sure for tehmselves that their children are safe.
The only way to do that is proactive monitoring of their computers and cell phones. It is not “violating their privacy.” Kids don’t have privacy!!!! There is no such thing. Let’s just get that straight from the get-go. You allow them to have certain possessions such as that new iTouch, a new bike, a new cell phone or a new jacket. No matter if grandma bought it for them or they purchased that item with their own babysitting money, you allow them to have it. Technically, you own everything and they own nothing. They are kids that you are responsible for what they do on a day-to-day basis.
My intentions in the following articles I author will be to move you as a parent to what I call “Growing Up Together” in your child’s physical life and their online life as well. My initiative is to educate parents, teachers and children on keeping them safe online. This experience should be a positive one for you as the parent and for the child. You see, when you have conversations with your child as to why monitoring is so important to keep them safe, you are starting to be part of their online world. I am totally committed to the idea that children must know you are monitoring their activities. This way, there is no question as they grow up that it is just another part of their lives that parents must be a part of to move on. This needs to start from 5th grade.
The following articles will enhance parent’s ability to educate themselves, other parents and their children on growing up with technology.
Stay safe and talk to your children. Remember, “you are responsible for them.”
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RICH, HATS OF TO YOU! i come from a religious view point and have alwats stressed the ONE FACTOR, about kids so called privacy!
And you from a professional point of view come out and say ”KIDS HAVE NO PRIVACY” , all i can say itm youve hit the nail on the head.
Its Simple
But, then why is it that parents always lose this argument with their children, when the child says ‘O WHAT ABOUT MY PRIVACY’
great work
[...] While I have investigated hundreds of cases in my 25 years of law enforcement, there is one thing about child predators that remains constant: predators will go where the kids are. Whether it is in the local park, school, camp, or Facebook, you can be sure that a predator will lurk there at one time or another. I want to let parents know: 1) the perfect time to discuss this topic with their child and 2) when it is and is not appropriate for your child to talk to someone online. As in my previous articles, you will find me putting most of the blame or responsibility on the parent. [...]