At some point, every parent will go through purchasing their child their first cell phone. If you haven’t yet experienced your child negotiating for a cell phone, it will happen as soon as they see their friends carrying phones.  If you are a parent who allows their preteen to have a cell phone, it is important to set some groundrules from the start. Without setting some rules and guidelines on safety, etiquette, and acceptable use, you can take something that can be a great experience and turn it into a disaster.

Safety and Tween Cell Phone Use

There are many instances where a parent would feel safer by allowing their child to have a cell phone. As a tween, your child will not be driving, but your child may be walking or busing to and from school, going to a friend’ house, visiting their other parent’s home, or even be a member of an organization like a youth group or club. It can make you, as the parent, feel better that you can get in touch with your child immediately and that they have a way to get back to you.

Cell Phone Etiquette for Tweens

Your tween may need to be schooled on proper cell phone etiquette, especially if you want them to be responsible with their phone.

• Start Small — Giving your tween a cell phone will be an exciting time for them, but you want to make sure you are easing them into it. Because  most parents will get their child a cell phone for safety reasons, make sure your child knows that they should, for the most part, use the cell phone for communication with family, like letting mom or dad know where they are.
• Know What to Expect – You will find quite quickly that your tween may want to spend every moment they have on the phone with their friends. Not only can this be a bad idea, it can get out of control very quickly. It is recommended that you set limits on your tweens phone use and stick to those limits. Some parents decide their children will only be able to talk to friends after their homework is done or during a timeframe each night where calls to friends are allowed.
• Set Up “No Call Zones”– One great thing that your child should learn when they get a cell phone is where it is appropriate to use their phone. Most parents will not want their child talking on their cell phones while sitting at the dinner table, for instance. Perhaps the whole kitchen or dining room will be set up as a “No Call Zone.” This will be a place where cell phone conversations are unacceptable.
• Explain the Rules – Your child will most likely question the rules that have been set forth. As a parent, you will probably want to explain why certain rules have been set in place so your child understands why they can’t talk on the phone at the dinner table. For instance, all it takes is for you to explain that you are genuinely interested in how their day was and dinner table is a wonderful place to talk about these things.
• Set an Example – It is important that you set the right example for your child in order to teach cell phone etiquette. For instance, if you are asking your child not to talk at certain times and in certain places, you probably shouldn’t be talking on your own cell phone in those places or at inappropriate times. You may have a hard time adequately explaining why it is ok for you to talk on your cell phone while waiting in line at the grocery store fending off dirty looks, but it isn’t ok for your child to talk on their phone in the living room.

Acceptable Tween Cell Phone Use

The final thing that will be important when your tween gets their new cell phone is acceptable use. This simply means that your child needs to take responsibility for charges they incur when using the phone. Many parents will give their children a set amount of minutes, like 200 a month. If the child goes over that, they will be required to pay the overage through an allowance or by working it off around the house.

Getting your tween a cell phone can not only be positive for them, as they will be getting something they want badly, it can be positive for you too, as the parent, because you will be teaching your child some responsibility.

AUTHOR OVERVIEW

Lisa Shaw Senior Director, Child Online Safety and Protection at SpectorSoft

What do five kids ranging in age from kindergarten to high school, a Harvard MBA and years of protecting kids online get you? It gets you Lisa Shaw, COO of her very busy household, and a Senior Director at SpectorSoft, the number one leader in monitoring and protecting your kids online. She's an expert on the technology and trends that you need to arm yourself with to be the best parent you can be in today’s digital world.

Tags: mobile phone, parenting advice, protect your kids